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From: carsten4476
Hey, supportguy
My little girl has gotten really weak in the last 24 hours. She don’t get out of bed, not even for banoffi pi (is that how you spell it) that is her all-time fave. Should I call the doc?

Response from TechieDave
Hi carsten4476. I really think you should take her to see a dual-doctor on this one. It’s most likely just teenage blues, but there’s a chance she’s eaten something that’s blocked the active sites of her nanozymes, and she can’t get any energy out of her food.

A heads up on this one, carsten4476. The remedy is a bit messy. By which I mean very messy. She’ll do a complete system purge, so the bathroom is best.  Somewhere you can scrub everything down.

From: carsten4476
Hey, thanks TechieDave. She’s better now. Back on her food, ‘n all. Might have to redecorate a bit tho.

From: Fanshaw-Thomas
Hello there. Is that the complaints department? Our boy, Quintus, that’s Quintus Fanshaw-Thomas III, was not accepted by Eton. The first in five generations, it pains me to say. I tried to get a reason from them–but they stonewalled me. God, doesn’t money talk these days? Or have you Oxted chaps supplied a bit of a thicko?

Response from DirectorJames
Dear Mr Fanshaw-Thomas,
I share your disappointment that young Quintus will not be following his doubtless illustrious forebears into Eton. You will recall, no doubt, that all Teknoids are certified capable of achieving human-norm test scores, so I suggest that other factors may be responsible. I regret that Oxted does not have jurisdiction over the admission policy of private schools.